When Writing is Scary
I sit down and stare at my messy draft.
The Word doc illuminates my face and seems more like the blue screen of death than the light at the end of a tunnel.
I love to write. I need to write. Somewhere in my soul I know that God has called me to write.
But sometimes my brain gets ahead of my story and I start to worry about what’s going to happen when I’m done with my draft. When my brain gets out of “creativity mode” and jumps into “editing” or “publishing” mode, it starts to panic. It tries to remember every scrap of advice for making it into and through the book publishing world.
If you follow any author on Instagram or heard one speak, I’m sure some wisdom along these lines have been shared with you: “You are at the mercy of the publishing market. Only a small percent of writers actually make it. It’s not for the faint of heart.”
Insightful? Yes. Helpful? Not really.
So when I sit down to write and my mediocre sentences and lame dialogue ooze out onto the page, I berate myself for not being perfect. In my minds-eye, I can already see the rejection letters piling up, the years wasted on art that doesn’t pay, and a life I hate because I don’t feel fulfilled in life. I know, I know, it’s a bit dramatic but my mind does quick work of my insecurities.
It can be crazy hard to get the next word out when that fear and anxiety is draining all your creative energy.
So how do we change our perspective? Do we even keep writing when the world and even our own brains are screaming that we will never make it? That’s what I want to talk about today.
Just three weeks ago, I attended One Year Adventure Novel’s Winter Workshop 2021. Every year they pair up students and published authors for mentor sessions. Even though I’ve done this 3 times already, I find it intimidating. This year, I was scheduled to chat with Lindsay A. Franklin (author of The Story Peddler trilogy). First off, let me just say that she was an absolute gem to talk to and I had a blast. But before I logged onto my Zoom meeting, I realized I didn’t know what to talk about with her. So before I could second-guess myself, I jotted down some questions about the publishing world and some of my fears around it.
Lindsay was amazing and not only shared a little about her own publishing journey, but she shared some encouragement regarding the crazy publishing world and the pressures that writers feel around it.
She said so many great things but I want to share 3 snippets with you that might help with the fears I talked about earlier.
1. Write because you love it.
Many people say that you can’t make a living off of something you love. Yes, I know making a living through the arts is extremely rare. I, for one, am currently working an office job that has nothing to do with writing or books so that I can support myself and my passion.
BUT DO NOT LET THAT STOP YOU FROM DOING WHAT YOU LOVE.
Don’t let people’s negative opinions change your passion for writing. Don’t let their bleak outlook poison your love for storytelling. Don’t let the world’s hyper-fixation on money or success ruin your passion. I’ll be honest, being a writer doesn’t guarantee those things. Instead, write because you love it. Write because you can’t live without forming the words on the page. Write because the characters and places in your mind won’t leave you alone. Write because it enriches your life. If you are doing it because you love it, then everything else really doesn’t matter.
2. The publishing road looks different for every writer.
Just because one writer gets published 5 years into the gig and you’ve been at it for 15 without a contract doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. Each writer is going to have a different road and a different timeline. Some will go the indie publishing route, others will go the traditional publishing way, and some will choose to only share their writing with a few readers. Some writers take years to get published, others only a few. Either way is absolutely fine and valid.
The path your writing takes is the best one for it. Trust the process. Your story will find it’s way into the hands of the right readers. Just stay faithful to your love for it, keep pursuing that passion. You are a writer for a reason. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
3. Enjoy the journey.
Being a writer isn’t just having your book on the shelf. It’s all the steps before and after it as well. Once authors are published, they don’t stop doing “the writing things”, they keep on working. Being a writer is a journey and each part of the adventure will look different.
I can get so caught up on the “end goal” of getting published that I forget to enjoy the other smaller parts of writing. I love that new idea feeling and the “aha” moments while drafting and getting to know your characters and finding the perfect song to write to and creating mock covers. All of those things are part of being a writer. When you get published, those things will still be there along with new things to discover. Don’t shy away from them. Embrace them, enjoy them. It’s all part of the process.
If we can learn to enjoy all the different aspects of being a writer than we can feel fulfilled as artists even if we never become “world-famous” authors.
So all that to say: keep writing. Write because you want to. Don’t let anyone scare you away from it. Chase that dream. Yep, it’s not for the faint of heart, but what is? If you love it, do it. Don’t let fear hold you back from pouring your heart onto the page.
Write, my dear heart. And don’t turn back.
Until next time!
~ K.J. Haakenson
The Word doc illuminates my face and seems more like the blue screen of death than the light at the end of a tunnel.
I love to write. I need to write. Somewhere in my soul I know that God has called me to write.
But sometimes my brain gets ahead of my story and I start to worry about what’s going to happen when I’m done with my draft. When my brain gets out of “creativity mode” and jumps into “editing” or “publishing” mode, it starts to panic. It tries to remember every scrap of advice for making it into and through the book publishing world.
If you follow any author on Instagram or heard one speak, I’m sure some wisdom along these lines have been shared with you: “You are at the mercy of the publishing market. Only a small percent of writers actually make it. It’s not for the faint of heart.”
Insightful? Yes. Helpful? Not really.
So when I sit down to write and my mediocre sentences and lame dialogue ooze out onto the page, I berate myself for not being perfect. In my minds-eye, I can already see the rejection letters piling up, the years wasted on art that doesn’t pay, and a life I hate because I don’t feel fulfilled in life. I know, I know, it’s a bit dramatic but my mind does quick work of my insecurities.
It can be crazy hard to get the next word out when that fear and anxiety is draining all your creative energy.
So how do we change our perspective? Do we even keep writing when the world and even our own brains are screaming that we will never make it? That’s what I want to talk about today.
Just three weeks ago, I attended One Year Adventure Novel’s Winter Workshop 2021. Every year they pair up students and published authors for mentor sessions. Even though I’ve done this 3 times already, I find it intimidating. This year, I was scheduled to chat with Lindsay A. Franklin (author of The Story Peddler trilogy). First off, let me just say that she was an absolute gem to talk to and I had a blast. But before I logged onto my Zoom meeting, I realized I didn’t know what to talk about with her. So before I could second-guess myself, I jotted down some questions about the publishing world and some of my fears around it.
Lindsay was amazing and not only shared a little about her own publishing journey, but she shared some encouragement regarding the crazy publishing world and the pressures that writers feel around it.
She said so many great things but I want to share 3 snippets with you that might help with the fears I talked about earlier.
1. Write because you love it.
Many people say that you can’t make a living off of something you love. Yes, I know making a living through the arts is extremely rare. I, for one, am currently working an office job that has nothing to do with writing or books so that I can support myself and my passion.
BUT DO NOT LET THAT STOP YOU FROM DOING WHAT YOU LOVE.
Don’t let people’s negative opinions change your passion for writing. Don’t let their bleak outlook poison your love for storytelling. Don’t let the world’s hyper-fixation on money or success ruin your passion. I’ll be honest, being a writer doesn’t guarantee those things. Instead, write because you love it. Write because you can’t live without forming the words on the page. Write because the characters and places in your mind won’t leave you alone. Write because it enriches your life. If you are doing it because you love it, then everything else really doesn’t matter.
2. The publishing road looks different for every writer.
Just because one writer gets published 5 years into the gig and you’ve been at it for 15 without a contract doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. Each writer is going to have a different road and a different timeline. Some will go the indie publishing route, others will go the traditional publishing way, and some will choose to only share their writing with a few readers. Some writers take years to get published, others only a few. Either way is absolutely fine and valid.
The path your writing takes is the best one for it. Trust the process. Your story will find it’s way into the hands of the right readers. Just stay faithful to your love for it, keep pursuing that passion. You are a writer for a reason. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
3. Enjoy the journey.
Being a writer isn’t just having your book on the shelf. It’s all the steps before and after it as well. Once authors are published, they don’t stop doing “the writing things”, they keep on working. Being a writer is a journey and each part of the adventure will look different.
I can get so caught up on the “end goal” of getting published that I forget to enjoy the other smaller parts of writing. I love that new idea feeling and the “aha” moments while drafting and getting to know your characters and finding the perfect song to write to and creating mock covers. All of those things are part of being a writer. When you get published, those things will still be there along with new things to discover. Don’t shy away from them. Embrace them, enjoy them. It’s all part of the process.
If we can learn to enjoy all the different aspects of being a writer than we can feel fulfilled as artists even if we never become “world-famous” authors.
So all that to say: keep writing. Write because you want to. Don’t let anyone scare you away from it. Chase that dream. Yep, it’s not for the faint of heart, but what is? If you love it, do it. Don’t let fear hold you back from pouring your heart onto the page.
Write, my dear heart. And don’t turn back.
Until next time!
~ K.J. Haakenson
Comments
Post a Comment